Samatha's mother had always wanted to be a gestational carrier, and this motivated her to want to be an egg donor.
When I was a child, I remember my mother often entertained the thought of being a surrogate mother. She always told me what joy I brought to her life, and would enjoy sharing the joy of children with other couples.
This memory presented itself when the opportunity arose for me to become an egg donor. I spoke with my spouse, family members, fellow colleagues and many friends. They offered very insightful opinions, however, in my heart the decision had already been made and their views did not deter my original goal. I proceeded with the first step by calling the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. I left my personal information on a voice mail screening system and a week later I received an informational packet in the mail. I was surprised yet overwhelmed by the whole package. My husband and I read all of the informational literature. The procedures were fully explained and the whole process looked very time consuming yet thorough. We placed a great deal of thought into the procedures and side effects, but soon realized that the benefits outweighed the risks. I remembered my mother's statement of wishing she could have shared some of her joy and happiness that I had brought her. I instantly knew we had to seize this opportunity. How could we pass on the chance to share some of the joy we had been blessed with in the last year, as we had just celebrated our daughter's first birthday.
I received a phone call from the egg donor coordinator, and she informed me she would guide me through the process, starting by making an appointment for a psychological evaluation and blood work. I agreed and an appointment was scheduled for the following week. I was quite anxious to start the whole process. A feeling of relief and excitement came over me. My opportunity still existed and I quickly phoned my husband to share the excellent news.
When the preliminary work up was complete, I was given an instruction packet and oriented to all of the fertility drugs and proper administration of each. My husband entered this adventure with me and he willingly volunteered to give the injections. Looking back what a wonderful way to take your aggressions out on your wife. Actually, he was quite skillful as he had received no medical training, other than my crash course on "How to give injections". The whole process went well and I did not experience any side effects. We were both surprised how quickly the preparation went including the harmless office visits. Routine ultrasounds and lab work were performed to check hormone levels and insure the dosing of the drugs was adequate for the follicles to reach maturation and patient safety maintained. Soon the day of retrieval was scheduled and my last shot to be administered by my husband. I was quite nervous about receiving this shot as he had never given an intra-muscular injection. My instructions were quite clear and I had him repeat them back several times. Looking back on this incident, I realize the anticipation was much worse than the actual injection.
The following day, in the latter part of the morning, I entered the surgical wing of the center and final preparations were made for retrieval. The nurses were terrific as well as the physician performing the retrieval. When the anesthesia was given I was out in seconds and enjoyed a relaxing nap. The whole process seemed to be completed in a matter of minutes and I awoke to some ginger ale and graham crackers. When I felt as though coherent I began getting dressed. When I came out one of the nurses asked me if I had seen my beautiful bouquet of flowers and I was shocked. I thought this was quite a lovely gesture as I was already being compensated for my time and had not expected any gifts from the recipient family. My husband arrived after the surgery, as I was unable to drive from the anesthesia and back to work I went. The following week I returned to my high impact aerobics class and the hectic routine my life demands.
Several months later, I received a phone call from one of the egg coordinators inquiring to see if I would be willing to undergo another retrieval process as the previous recipients had been successful in conceiving. I agreed and a week later I was informed I was chosen by a family to be their donor. The whole process began again and went even more smoothly than the first retrieval.
My spouse and I look back and are quite pleased we had the opportunity to provide such a generous gift to a special family. Having a child of our own we understand the demands placed on parents today and have a great respect for those families willing to accept the responsibility of raising a child. Despite half the genetic material contributed there is no bond between myself and the child created, which is why we have yet to go back and regret our decision. Friends and some family members have a difficult time with our thinking, but I have never forgotten my heart-felt reason for donation. As a previous donor I urge anyone contemplating this process to phone the center and speak to a donor coordinator. Your generosity can make a dream come true for a childless couple and the rewards are everlasting.
Samantha